Quick Update on Family Frontiers

This time last week, I was traveling back from Kansas City on a business trip.  Today, I’m in Florida in a condo waiting for our ICPC process to finalize and staring all googly-eyed at our new son.  He is napping with his Dad on the couch. It is so incredibly peaceful right now.  We are so incredibly happy.

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What a difference a day makes…

Quick post.

The birth mother decided to move forward with the adoption plan for her son.  We are flying to Orlando tomorrow morning.

Words are escaping me for once. I can’t even haiku I’m so excited.

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Running on Course

I was in Kansas City last week for a conference, staying at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center.  The hotel had really nice amenities, but the best one was this…

… it’s a little map to carry with you as you run/walk near the hotel. BRILLIANT!

I’m assuming other hotels do this too. But, with my newfound interest in running, I’m finding all of these neat, cool new features to make running more accessible… that also eliminate excuses for not getting out there to crank out a few miles before work.

Onward, HO!

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False Alarm on the Family Frontier

Turns out that the birth mom in our potential “situation” will probably keep the baby.  It will be a long road since her son was born with marijuana in his system. This could be a defining moment for her – a chance to set some different priorities, ya know?  We truly, truly wish them both the best.

Everyone mentioned this would be an emotional roller coaster.  Now we know what they were talking about.  So… in honor of this event, I will haiku you.

Bummer is a word
Used wisely in the snow
Means spring will come soon.

Togetherness lives
Between moments of rain and wind.
A better friend, I do not know.

Future is murky.
Hope flies like a sparrow
To nest. To build. To dream on.

Adieu for now!

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Quick Post: Family Frontiers

I’ve neglected the postings this week – my apologies.  It has been a bit of a whirlwind…

The short version is: we found out about another birth mother situation. We might be heading on a plane tomorrow morning to pick up our new baby boy.   More later, but that’s the gist.

Who knew when I woke up on Wednesday morning that I might be a Mom by Friday?  Weird.

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Update on our Family Frontiers

Ok… stuff is happening.

The gist is this:  We have been presented with our first “situation,” a birth mother who is due in August. Without boring you with all the details, I will just say this: It’s 110% exciting that we’ve been presented with a viable adoption situation so early in our search.

Because it is our first situation, we have (what I think is) a normal amount of questions and anxieties.  Do we go for the first one? What if there is a better situation later? What if we meet the BM and have second thoughts? What if? What if? What if?  Ahhhh!!!!

I know all mothers face questions and worries. But, I think being an adoptive parent puts a different spin on it. For instance.. another situation came up where the mother is due June 1st. JUNE FIRST?  Are you kidding me?  I already have business trips planed for July. I can’t possibly fit that into my schedule?  (yeah, I know. I can, but still).

We’re buying a baby, but building a family.  This is the most faith-filled thing I think I’ve ever done.  We want a “perfect, healthy” baby, but that is never a guarantee, even if we know everything there is to know about the birth parents or even if WE were the parents. It is a weird position to be in, ya know?

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Someone famous once said that (Heb 11.1).  Building this family will mean having a lot of faith in things we do not see, but being SURE that this is what we want and what the Man Upstairs has in mind for us.

So, we will continue processing and deliberating. If anyone has advice on how to process the information or sift through these feelings, let me know.

This picture has no bearing on this post.
I just think it’s a cool shot.

Enjoy!

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Busy Week

It’s been a busy, traveled-filled week. What is it about traveling that makes a person extra tired? Looking forward to some downtime this weekend.

Funny note: One of my trips was a quick overnight visit to Kansas City. I brought the same suit and just a different shirt. When I got on the plane to go, I realized I had on the pants were from one and the jacket from another. Guess I will need to steer clear of the fashion police at the airport later today.

“Look out everyone, nothing to see here. Make way. Just a lady with unmatched black pants. Move along!”

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“Stop the fighting and shooting”

I occasionally visit the Christian Activity Center in East St. Louis. They are doing remarkable things for kids growing up in tough circumstances.  When I say remarkable, I mean… 90% of the kids who go there finish high school – compared to less than 50% who do not. Awesome.

Yesterday, a 7-year old said this during prayer time,  “Lord, stop the fighting and shooting.  And stop them from jumpin’ me.”

This small phrase says a lot.  Not only about what is happening to him personally, but also what is happening in his community in general.

Part of this is that bullying is on the rise.  Is it on the rise because kids are not as tough as they used to be.. or is it some other reason?  Too, kids can be bullied face to face just like always, but now there are indirect ways like Twitter and Facebook too – creating more opportunity for kids to be mean to each other.  Wonderful.  (hear the sarcasm?)

Another part – and I think the biggest part – is a poverty of spirit.  It is an elusive virus that manifests itself it about 1,001 ways.  If a parents and adults are infected, children will eventually get it too.  Some of the symptoms are:

• Inappropriate levels of self-confidence – either too high or too low
• Despair, hopelessness, anger, fear, depression, jealousy
• Lack of responsibility for self, family, neighbors, others
• Inertia, lack of activity or forward movement

I don’t know the exact circumstances of this 7-year old. But I have seen enough to know that the solution can be complicated.  Not one single program will be able to answer his prayers.  It will take a holistic, comprehensive, no-holds-barred kind of approach.

Whatever the solution – I would bet that this one isn’t exactly right. For one thing, the race of the children depicted on the building does not match the children they are serving. Also, the words “at risk” are on the front of the building!  (I hate that term anyway.) What impact do you think that sign has on the children who enter that building every day?   Ugh…

All of this kinda makes my brain hurt. It’s overwhelming for sure.

But, if enough of us band together, we can knock this virus out of our world forever.  We can’t do it alone. There is a light that is IN us that if we play our cards right, will sustain us for the work ahead.  If that works, then the light that is IN will come OUT- all on its own.  Weird how that works, but it does.

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Lessons from the Swim Lane

Got myself up early this morning hoping to get one of three swim lanes at the gym.  It is not normally a problem, but nothing can ruin a workout like sharing a swim lane .. always trying not to hit the other person with your powerful stroke (ha!) .. or (more likely) drown in their wake.

Wouldn’t you know it… today, all the swim lanes were filled.  Dang!

I walked down to the bench to wait – meanwhile eying to see who might volunteer to share their lane.  In the middle was a woman fussing with her goggles.  “She’s a good candidate,” I thought to myself.   The other two lanes were filled with expert swimmers – I’ve seen these two before. They are GOOD. No one volunteers to share, so I decided to wait on the bench.

“I’ve taken four swim lessons,” says the woman in the middle.  She looked nervous.  Tentative. She was trying her best to use the kick board.  She wasn’t sure about dunking her face in the water and not exactly sure how to kick her legs.

“I really want to learn how to swim,” she said with a nervous smile. We chatted for a bit, and I tried to encourage her.  Eventually she made it down one lap and back again.  BIG THUMBS UP!

Not sure why, but I’m was particularly encouraged by her today.

1. For one thing, she is a middle-aged woman, never learned how to swim, trying her hardest to figure it out.  It takes courage to learn something new, especially something that “everyone seems to know but me.”
2. This will sound weird, but I remembered that not everyone knows what I know. Floating in the water, kicking my legs, blowing bubbles under the water seems second nature. But, seeing her try to push-off the wall, I realized how hard it must be to suspend your gravity-is-always-right experience and try to float and kick and breath all at the same time. I remembered that I once didn’t know how to swim either.
3. I also asked myself.. what is it that I want to learn but never have (yet).

I hope she keeps trying.   I hope we all do.

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